Our friend, Tingle

A lot of people say bad things about Tingle. A terrible, terrible thing to do. I mean in reality, besides charging you obnoxious prices for stuff you absolutely need, what has Tingle ever did to you? People overcharge you for stuff you don’t need in life all the time and they don’t get knocked as nearly as much as Tingle does. And you know what? It’s not fair.

But you know what? Tingle knows. He hears what people say to him. Do you think he cares that you say horrible things about him? Yes he does. Do you think he is ignorant to your insinuations that he’s as gay as a pile of wood? No, he’s not. He knows that you guys don’t want him in Twilight Princess and he can’t fathom why. Tingle doesn’t spread hate… he only wants to bring joy - and hey, if charging you a little extra in pursuit of his own dreams hurts… maybe you should look at your own life. What’s your dream? Be a astronaut, lawyer, or president?

Tingle has a bigger dream. A great dream. One that goes beyond just the Legend of Zelda. One that surpasses Ganon’s dreams to rule all of Hyrule. A dream that - yes - surpasses that century long one Mad Batter has been having about Batgirl. Tingle wants to be a fairy. You say, “Oh yeah. That’s totally not questionable.”

Maybe people should think about that. What does it mean to be a fairy? It means FREEDOM. Any person can look at Tingle and realize this guy ain’t got much going for him. He’s in his thirties and is a map salesmen. Does he have a chance with the ladies? Not likely. Everything is against him - but here is a man who perseveres and dreams of something bigger. And rather than go out and rant about it on his online journal, he goes out to DO something about it. Link may save all of Hyrule, but Tingle reaches out to real people. Us. Those that aren’t perfect, good looking, or look good in tights. He’s right there, with us, struggling to exist in a world completely against him.

So yes, Tingle knows what you say about him. But in the end Tingle continues on his dream. A dream bigger than all of us. And I think he deserves our full support. So go up, give Tingle a hug, and don’t steal his magic words, or so help me.